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  • Isabella Naiduki

Let's Talk About Sex

Pic by Access Consciousness - Bird & The Bees

A lot has been said lately about the need for conversations with our children with regards to sex education. The main focus being that because of our cultural boundaries, there seems to be a lack of or rather an almost avoidance of conversation or discussion about what sex is; the consequences; the responsibility and the repercussions. A recent viral video of young people engaging in sexual activity had the entire country and also Fijian expats living abroad in a frenzy and as usual it turned for the worse when the minor in the video was subjected to slut-shaming and victim blaming, not only by her peers but also adults. So the question is, is a frank and open discussion about sex and the physical aspect of it enough to deal with the ongoing problem that young people or rather women, both young and old face nowadays in our society which then leads to the increase in sexual offences such as assault and defilement, rape, domestic violence, cyber-bullying, invasion of privacy.. the list goes on.

I can understand why the cultural setting of a traditional Fijian family would make it difficult for parents to have these open discussions. Coming from one myself, we never had conversations about sex and what it entailed and all information that we got as children more or less in my experience made sex an almost dirty word and one not to be spoken out loud. It's no surprise that my earlier experiences of being in a relationship was one that was entered into naively and filled with ignorance as to what the sexual aspect of a relationship required and the burden of trying to understand and weigh out the consequences of my decisions as a young adult, clearly made what should have been a mutually respectful and loving relationship anything but. I don't hold any grudges against my parents for this lack of discussion, as like most Fijian parents of their era, they did the best that they could based on the knowledge they had